Acts of Service
Because my husband speaks the Acts of Service love language, he gives and receives love primarily by doing things and having things done for him. The AoS person has a constant running to-do list of tasks in their mind. They relax when the list is done. Things that may be on the list could be: change the oil int he car, get the laundry folded and put away, mop the floors and change the litter box.
For an AoS person, you communicate that you love them and they communicate that they love you by helping to remove things from that list of tasks. When you knock something off the list it tells them, this matters to me because it matters to you and in response, they feel loved and valued.
You may have an Acts of Service spouse if they are constantly doing the things above that I mentioned or similar things.
Guys, I am not a native Acts of Service speaker. I am a Slob. That's right, capital S. Now, I am not gross. In my book, there is a difference between “slob” and “gross.” I don't have insects or vermin and I haven't lost any pets under my newspaper-and-fast-food-wrapper collection or anything like that.
What I mean is that I’m not bothered when the dog's toys are all over the floor. I could pick them up, but she'll just drag them back out. It doesn't bother me that the bed is unmade. We're just going to mess it up again. I'll leave dishes in the drainer until they're needed again...they're clean. What's the problem?! You get the point. My husband is the opposite.
How He Loves
It has taken me quite a bit of time to learn to recognize how my husband goes about showing his love for me. I don't fluently speak Acts of Service, therefore, to receive his expressions of love, I have to identify them. For example, he'll go out and start my car so that it is warm when I leave. (I hate being cold.) Usually, he doesn't even mention he has done it, so it's a surprise to me when I leave. Sometimes it's an "I decided to leave an hour later than planned and didn't know the car had been running the whole time" surprise, but even that makes me smile.
He comes home the day before Valentine's Day with a bag of screw hooks from the hardware store to install in my desk so that I can hang my rags and things. A lot of women would be like, "That's what you got me for Valentine's Day?!" (He got me other wonderful things too, by the way.) I, however, know that he wants to show me he loves me by making my life just that much easier.
He shows love in ways like that. He takes the role of a servant. It reminds me of Jesus washing the feet of those He loved, and I love that.
I tell you this to help you recognize what your spouse is doing for you. That is my first tip. Learn to see the love they are trying to show you and make sure that they know that they are appreciated. Even if this is not your primary language and even if it doesn't overflow your love tank like Quality Time or Gifts would acknowledge that they are trying.